Main menu:

Archive for 'Uncategorized'

A Study In Trash

By Tim Hayes
Would you trust a bunch of 12-year-old boys, armed with brushes and stencils and buckets of oil-based paint, turned loose on the utility poles of your local municipality’s main business district?
Well, they did in 1973.  And pockets of proof can still be seen, barely, all these years later on a handful of those [...]

Mushrooms: A Love Story

By Tim Hayes
“Would you look at this kid?  He could be a brain surgeon.”
The chatter from my parents around the Formica-topped kitchen table became nothing more than background noise.  Important work lay before me.  Lengthy, precise, essential work.
Picking microscopic chunks of mushroom out of that evening’s tuna casserole dinner entrée, that is.
Made with cans of [...]

Archie and the Hose

By Tim Hayes
In my old neighborhood, green space remained at a premium.  We had a small backyard, a strip of grass beside the house, and a tiny patch in front.
To prove the point, we had a manual push-mower from Sears.  No gas engine, no extension cord, just you and any kinetic energy you could summon [...]

Making God Laugh

By Tim Hayes
The fellow in the front seat of the car probably was thinking about dinner that night.  Would he go out?  Maybe just grill up some hot dogs, stay in, and rent a movie on pay-per-view?
The lady wanted to get her bicycle across the street.  Maybe to get back home, maybe to go have [...]

Aiming for Them

By Tim Hayes
The blue Buick Regal sped down the highway, its undercarriage rattling, its shock absorbers pleading for sweet mercy.  Spring in Pittsburgh, and the potholes had begun to bloom.
There I sat, feet on the pedals, hands on the wheel, mere days after passing my driver’s test and becoming a licensed operator of a motor [...]

This Is The Only Day

By Tim Hayes
We had only been married about two or three years, living for the first time at an appreciable distance from any family, and broke as hell.
After finishing dinner at the all-you-can-eat Pizza Hut Buffet one evening, we carefully loaded some slices into a carryout box to serve as lunches and maybe even dinner [...]


By Tim Hayes
A comedian I saw on TV not long ago did a full five minutes on sleep, and how ridiculous it would sound to aliens trying to understand us earthlings.
“Okay, so you mean that these creatures, the very top of the food chain around here, with brains that can outperform any other form of [...]

Claustrophobic Costanza

By Tim Hayes
Okay, so we drive up to Rochester, New York, just the two of us, to see our daughter at college.  We purposely chose this particular weekend because it fell in the middle of a slow time of year, no holidays, no heavy traffic on the New York Thruway.  Just an easy up-and-back trip [...]

Tracy the Brave

By Tim Hayes
I can’t even begin to imagine the courage required.
Picture this.  A Catholic elementary school, grades one through eight.  About 400 students in all.  And every single one of them white.  Sure, they broke out by family heritage, the Germans outnumbered everyone else, but you had Italian, Irish, Polish.  Most of Western Europe well [...]

A Little Neighborhood Hole in the Wall

By Tim Hayes
Everybody needs one.  That place you find that fits your style.  That serves up great food.  That makes you feel at home every time you walk in the place.
We found ours about a year after we moved back to our hometown of Pittsburgh, more than 25 years ago.  This little hole in the [...]